Motivational Quotes

If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself - Anon

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure - Jaegar

Noise proves nothing; often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid - Mark Twain

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight - Phyllis Diller

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hable ingles' - Ronnie Shakes

I'm a deeply superficial person - Andy Warhol

The best way to keep one's word is not to give it - Napoleon Bonaparte

It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose your own - Harry S Truman

To get back on your feet, miss two car payments - Anon

For people who like peace and quiet; a phoneless cord - Anon

It is part of the cure to want to be cured - Seneca

We do not remember days, we remember moments - Cesere Pavese

I've never been drunk but often I've been overserved - George Gobel

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go - Anon

The essentials for happiness are: something to do, someone to love and something to hope for - Anon

Learning is the greatest game in life and the most fun. All children are born believing this and will continue to believe this until we convince them that learning is very hard work and unpleasant. Some kids never really learn this lesson and go through life believing that learning is fun and the only game worth playing.
We have a name for such people.
We call them geniuses". - Glenn Doman

Use what talents you possess: The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang the best - Anon

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool - Jane Wagner

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want - Dan Stanford

Time is what prevents everything from happening at once - J A Wheeler

Two great Rules of Life: 1) Never tell everything at once - Ken Venturi

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it - Winston Churchill

I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it - Pablo Picasso

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling into at night. I miss you like hell - Edna St. Vincent Millay

Complain to one who can help you - Yugoslav Proverb

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music - Aldous Huxley

There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, " Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, " Ah, there you are" - Frederick L Collins

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects - Will Rogers

The most efficient labour-saving device is still money - Franklin P Jones

Never despair, but if you do, work on in despair - Edmund Burke

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet - James Oppenheim

What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth - Jewish Proverb

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not - Andre Gide

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable - Sydney J Haris

Above all things, never be afraid. The enemy who forces you to retreat is himself afraid of you at that very moment - Andre Maurois

Criminal; A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation - Howard Scott

The best way to predict the future is to invent it - Alan Kay

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today - Laurence J Peter

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides - David Viscott

It's easier to put on slippers that to carpet the whole world - Al Franken

Never seem more learned than the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to count the hours, but give the time when you are asked - Lord Chesterfield

Lets have some new cliches - Samuel Goldwyn

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece - Ludwig Erhard

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for - Epicurus

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet - Dave Barry

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man - George Bernard Shaw

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it - Moses Hadas

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair - George Burns

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them - Leo Tolstoy

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive - Samuel Goldwyn

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by - Will Rogers

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb - Benny Hill

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit - Peter Ustinov

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission - Stuart's Law of Retroaction

It's amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit - Harry S. Truman

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support - John Buchan

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers - H L Mencken

Go, and never darken my towels again - Groucho Marx

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis - Asleigh Brilliant

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail - Dr. Robert Schuller

Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some - Charles Dickens

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties - Doug Larson

We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us - Samuel Johnson

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass - Martin Mull

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh - Voltaire

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didnt - Erica Jong

Its no longer a question of staying healthy. Its a question of finding a sickness you like - Jackie Mason

God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project - Anoymous Graffiti

That is the saving grace of humour, if you fail no one is laughing at you - A. Whitney Brown

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed - Christopher Morley

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided - Casey Stengal

A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat - Katherine Whitehorn

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because its safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs - Anon

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers - James Thurber

Dont throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water - Swedish Proverb

A loud voice cannot compete with a clear voice, even if its a whisper - Barry Neil Kaufman

Ive been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesnt require my presence - Gary Trudeau

Familiarity breeds contempt and children - Mark Twain

The future is much like the present, only longer - Don Quisenberry

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of everyorganism to live beyond its income - Samuel Butler

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose - Darrin Weinberg

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done - Fred Allen

You probably wouldnt worry about what people think about you if you could know how seldom they do - Olin Miller

Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man - J. Robert Oppenheimer, speaking of Albert Einstein

Chance favours the prepared mind - Louis Pasteur

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

Rock journalism is people who cant write interviewing people who cant talk for people who cant read - Frank Zappa

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong - Bertrand Russell

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment - Dorothy Nevill

Whatis another word for Thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit and resign yourself to the influences of each - Henry David Thoreau

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization - John O Hara

Nobody believes the official spokesman but everybody trusts an unidentified source - Ron Nesen